Relationship Struggles

All the Single Ladies

You’ve dreamed of finally finding the right partner. Heck, you kick butt in your career, why is this area so hard to figure out?  How hard could it be to find a mate? 

Instead, you find partners that seem like they want a relationship with you but you always end up disappointed and sitting alone on a Saturday night. Your confidence in finding someone who wants the same things you do is waning. Then, when it seems like you met the right person… it’s lovely at first, until it’s not.

Nobody wants to make a commitment to you and loses interest and leaves. You wonder… how could someone so successful in their job be so unsuccessful at love? 

Listen, I get it, relationships are hard. Being single in a pandemic is difficult! Online dating is a time suck.  Therapy can help remove or go around the barriers that prevent you from finding the love that you deserve. It can help you identify and address barriers that are getting you stuck.

New York City is a dating unicorn.  There is nowhere else like it. There are so many choices that it is hard to pick just one person (that’s what it seems like to your partners anyway).

Being unsuccessful at love can even make you question yourself. Are you doing enough? Are you interesting enough? Are you pretty enough?  Am I too old to date? What’s missing about me?

And when you get a partner, you sometimes find that it’s not what you wanted. Why are they still on dating sites? Why are they dating other people still?  Why don’t they want to refer to me as their partner?  Why do they treat me so badly?  Am I doing something wrong?

Living Together or Married

Maybe you found that person and may have even moved in or married them and it’s not as great as you imagined it would be. You are having the same fight over and over and you are worried you made the wrong choice.

If you have kids, perhaps you take on most of the emotional labor of your home.  It is completely understandable that you are frustrated, feel underappreciated, and as if you are a personal assistant to your whole family. You don’t even know what you like to do anymore or what brings you joy because you’re so focused on everyone else. And that part really sucks.

Perhaps you are in couples counseling and you have found that there are some things that you need to address yourself and are looking for someone to help. The work you do on yourself will undoubtedly positively impact your relationship or help you get clear on what you want from it.

End of a Relationship

You might have just gotten out of a relationship or got divorced and be really bummed about it ending or bummed that you wasted your time with the wrong person. You might feel really frustrated and want to give up. 

You can lean on your friends, but only so much.  Sometimes you need someone with a specialty in helping you get out your slump. I can help you.  I have been working with people with depression for many years. It is hard to ask for help but happiness is within reach. Sometimes just a few tweaks and voila…. You get your mojo back again.

How Therapy Can Help You in the Relationship with You

You are doing the best that you can, but it’s not enough.  Here’s the thing….there are so many layers to this, each like a ball of string of different colors. The colors are intertwined and you don’t know where to start untangling. 

I can help you untangle them.

We will look at your experiences and how they have impacted you. We will look at your childhood experiences and approach with curiosity. We will look at familiar relationships and how they have influenced the relationships you have and how they might stand in the way of getting the ones that you want. Old patterns might be holding you back but are hard to identify and let go of.

Listen, if you knew better you could do better. Therapy is looking at what you are doing and learning and why you are doing it. We will approach with curiosity and compassion.  Yet, if you are dating the same kind of person you have dated the past 5 partners, I am not going to let it go. I’m going to call you on your stuff. If you’re allowing someone to take advantage of you, I’m going to explore with you. You deserve more.

Have questions? Contact me.