A magic summer.
Back in 1990 I woke up in the middle of the night because my parents were going to bring me and my best friends to get New Kids on the Block tickets for their magic summer tour. We went to the local box office. Back in those days, they had to access tickets in an ancient computer system and grab whichever ones they could. We were definitely in the front of the line but there were others ahead of us. Some had spent the night in the cold weather to get the tickets.
We watched the girls in the front of the line cheer in excitement of getting tickets close to the stage. When it was our turn, me and my friends were maxxed out with anxiety and waited in anticipation to get ours. 7th row. I couldn’t believe it. We would be close enough to see our heartthrobs in the flesh and see every facial expression and bead of sweat in real time. We counted the days. It was in the beginning of their career and they were just teens themselves. My favorite, Joey McIntyre, was the youngest of the bunch. I was IN LOVE with him and he didn’t even know I existed.
Fast forward to 2023. My best friends from those days have passed away. One from Cancer and the other from complications from Cystic Fibrosis. She died when she was only 18. The other friend died of Cancer and left her husband and 2 kids behind. She was 39. She and I had planned on going on a cruise with New Kids on the Block a few years before she died. Her husband didn’t want her to spend the money and go, I couldn’t figure out childcare for a week.
Yet, here I was. In the very front row center with my new(ish) friends. The moment brought so many emotions. Sadness that I never got to do this with my original New Kids on the Block friends. Pride that I finally was sitting front row center. Nostalgia about the good old days. Excitement to see my heartthrob, Joe (now in his 50s) in front of me. I had seen him and given him a hug earlier that day. He loved my tshirt. It said “JOE! Why did you invite all of these other woman on OUR date?” He thought it was funny. We talked about his upcoming new album and I complemented him on the new album he helped to write for New Kids that they would be performing that night.
Life is funny this way, right? So many emotions all at once. It reminded me of the fun I had with my friends when we were teens. It made me feel sadness and nostalgia for the days of our original obsession. And I was creating new memories. I NEVER would have thought I would be 48 and chasing around my teen heartthrobs (again!), but there we were, doing just that.
I often hear clients speak about wanting to be happy all of the time or having patches when they aren’t happy. I help them notice the ups and the downs and they learn to tolerate both. Here’s the thing, I can’t or won’t help you live a life of toxic positivity. I will for sure help you notice the ups and the downs, the sadness and the happiness, the joy and the pain. Because that’s life.
Glennon Doyle wrote in Untamed (one of my all time favorite books) "Being human is not hard because you're doing it wrong, it's hard because you're doing it right." And I believe this wholeheartedly. The pleasure and the pain of the moment being in the front row of New Kids on the Block at 48 yo grieving my old friends and enjoying the new ones is life wrapped up in a nutshell. I’ll take it. The good, the bad, the pain and the joy. For they can all exist at once, in fact… they often do.
All that said, if you find yourself in a place where you need to talk about life, where you are in it, where you want to be, where you thought you’d be by now…that’s where therapy comes in. You’re welcome to connect with me and see if we’d be a good fit.
