Herpes Dating Sites, yes or no?

Did you know there are Herpes dating sites? HERE is one, Positive Singles is very popular!! Everyone on there has Herpes. So what would be the reasons to use or not use the Herpes dating sites? I’ve got you…. see below.

And learn more about my self-paced online course, Women Coping with Herpes!

Reasons why you would want to use Herpes dating sites: Maybe it’s hard for you to fathom disclosing to a new partner. Maybe you don’t want the stress of worrying you will pass on Herpes to someone. Maybe you want a casual relationship and can find someone else who is DTF on the site. Many possibilities here. Maybe it’s just easier to look on a site where you don’t even have to think about Herpes. I get it.

Reasons to not use a Herpes dating site: You think you can’t get anyone BUT people who have Herpes already. I get that it’s easier to not have to disclose, don’t have to think about it, etc. but if you are going to a Herpes dating site just because you don’t think you can get anyone but someone with Herpes… that’s not a good reason. That is letting you know that it might be time to go back and strengthen your foundation. Listen, you can be mad at me if you want, but do the work that it takes to feel good about yourself, Herpes or not.

Do you know what my clients without Herpes struggle with? Self esteem. Yeah, and they don’t have Herpes! Lower self esteem or feeling badly about yourself or maybe some choices you’ve made is not only a problem for people with Herpes.

The issue with feeling like the people who would be interested in a relationship with you because you have Herpes is about not feeling confident about yourself. But, you know what? I had the same experience when I decided to ditch the hair dye in 2016. I went back and forth about allowing myself to embrace my gray hair. Would it look funny? Would it grow out and look crazy? Will someone not like me because I have gray hair? Would certain people not date me because of my gray hair? I have a foot in 2 cultures and one foot (the latino one because of the other side of the family) thinks I’m much more beautiful with black hair. Every time I go to family things with people from that side of the family, they suggest I should just dye my hair again because I “look younger.” Like looking older suggests something is wrong with me.

The thing is… I like my hair.

I like the way its like natural glitter, I like how it’s exciting to see how it turns a lighter color and eventually white. I feel good in it. And I don’t miss dyeing it at all, ever. I can dye it with temp colors and they show now (never saw them when I had dark hair).

The only difference is that I focused on myself and did the work to feel good about where I am today, gray hair and all.

So, listen up….. right now you might be self conscious about your Herpes diagnosis. It won’t be this way forever. It doesn’t hurt to try dating on a Herpes dating site, if you really want to. But if you’re doing it only because you’re scared of the rejection, I don’t think that is a good enough reason. You will find someone that wants to embark on a relationship with you even if you have Herpes and they don’t. Doing the work to be prepared and stable to handle any rejection that comes your way is important work not just for dating, but life in general.

In my Women Coping with Herpes course I spend 3 out of the 4 modules helping you build yourself back up from a Herpes diagnosis. That’s how much I know that people with Herpes need to spend time on that. And as time goes on you will get more comfortable with Herpes and see that a whole lot of people have it already or know someone that does.

Pretty soon I hope the stigma of having Herpes will go away with more research (perhaps more treatments and info) and more testing. So you have time to still do the work now. There are so many with you, as you will see in the Herpes dating sites and outside of them too.

Learn more about my course, Women Coping with Herpes.