Herpes diagnosis: you need to talk to someone and you feel like you can’t.

Getting a Herpes diagnosis can be a very difficult time.

You feel alone.

You feel like you can’t talk to anyone about it.

You feel like you are damaged goods.

Yet, the thing that most people living with Herpes need is to talk about it.

There are a lot of reasons why people with Herpes don’t want to talk about it. If people know, they might judge you. They might think you were irresponsible. They might think you are promiscuous, they might think you go through partners quickly, they might think you are dirty, they might think you don’t protect yourself, they might think you are not a good match for anyone they know. They might tell other people or tell your friends that you’d rather not have this information.

I am not saying any of these things are true, I am just saying what I’ve heard people worry about when they get a diagnosis.

People diagnosed with Herpes need to talk about it.

Shame attached to the diagnosis can be internalized and eat away at you. It can erode your self-view, your confidence, and your ability to move forward and just learn how to live with it.

I’ve done a lot of self-improvement over the years. By far, the biggest support to improving myself has been group work.

When I see someone struggle with something or put a name to it, it helps me put into words my own struggle and start to learn how to work with it. You cannot work on what you don’t know you are struggling with. If you can identify it, put a name to it, and start to develop awareness around it, you can do something about it.

Let's be honest; sometimes, just knowing that someone has experienced or is experiencing something similar to you makes it so much easier to bear. It feels like you’re not the only one carrying that weight and you can see how others are holding it or how to move forward with it.

I have participated in therapy groups for years. I’ve led groups as well. What I have learned is that if there is a safe place to share and people feel protected, they will share and unburden themselves. I’ve also learned that if something you’ve brought up brings up something for someone else, you’ve just really helped them. It’s not about you, it is about what you said or what you are struggling with is bringing up something for them. It’s not your problem to solve, it’s not anything you did wrong. You just helped them realize something that they now need to figure out what they want to do with.

I’ve been trying to start a support group for women coping with Herpes for months. People want to commit and get scared at the last minute. People aren’t sure that it will help them. People don’t want to invest in something they aren’t sure what it will do for them or if it will help them.

So I have been thinking of trying a different way to see if this helps people try out a support group without the expectation of making a commitment. If you love it (which I know you will), you have the choice to join a longer-running support group with the same people every week so that you can form a bond. The first time is always free. And of coures I am there to keep the group safe. You can decide what you want to share and if you don’t, you don’t have to. You can turn your camera off if you’d like. If you love it and would like to attend a second, third, etc, time but aren’t able/don’t want to commit to a longer group, you can donate to attend.

Interested? Let’s connect. More dates will be added each month.