Seasons
A crazy thing happens when the seasons change.
I’ve noticed that around this time in the year, I feel really overwhelmed. Kids going back to school and the emotions that brings them and me, juggling schedules, starting to try to build some predictability, and hoping that nothing falls to the wayside in the process of all of this. Usually around this time I notice that my patience is thin. It feels like it’s hard to get out from under the pressure, and logistics. I don’t ask as readily for help as I probably need to and my self care suffers. And this is not a time to get hard on myself about any of it. It’s a reminder of how much I am juggling and how difficult that is to do. Self compassion at it’s best.
In the book “The Four Agreements” the agreement that stood out to me was “always do your best.” And the reason I like it was that Miguel Ruiz, the author, made sure to state that “your best” may differ at any given moment. The amount of things we have that demand our attention or distract us are different at any given moment. For example, if someone is going through a divorce or break up and are sad and struggling, getting out of bed might be your best. On another day when everything is going well and you’re on top of your game, anything is possible. Your best will be much different each moment. I remember when I read that and believed it in with every fiber of my being, there was a tremendous sense of relief. That yard stick that measured up every day became expandable and retractable. It was a gift to have some room to breathe.
I realized that the challenging part was extending that retractable yard stick for others in my life. My team gets the stuff done but some weeks may be harder than others, it might not be consistent. Sometimes done is better than perfect. I feel like kids’ retractable sticks are the most important. Unfortunately parents forget that sometimes. Our kids have bad days too. One of my best friends in life one time told me that she measures how well she’s doing by thinking of hardships as a shit sandwich. The size of the bite of the shit sandwich could be different on any given day. When I talk to her on the phone about a hard day, she’ll ask me… “How big is your bite?” Sometimes my answer is that I didn’t have any shit sandwich that day or that I ate nearly the whole thing. My best depends on how much fucks I have left from what I’ve dealt with already. This does not mean there is anything wrong with you or the way you are living your life. Life is hard sometimes and we shouldn’t give ourselves a hard time for having a life. Do you?
As we head into fall, a season that most of us still associate with the end of summer and the beginning of a new season, remind yourself that you are doing the best you can. Even if that best isn’t what it was 3 hours ago. We all owe it to ourselves to be kind and understand that we deserve some grace too.
